the water bearer
just the touch of the keys on my fingertips makes me shiver
it's like a flow of cold water running frantically through my veins
it feels like i'm going with it
dissolving in water
im water
its cold
water coming out of my eyes is warm
i wanna let go of it
the pain
control
just take me to the river
it feels like my mother's womb
oh, how i've missed it.
i had to learn to be everything i lacked
i tried
and because im doomed to bear the ocean in my heart
it is too much too heavy
but how would i ever give up the seas?
when they're everything there is
its scary its dark
yet its all there is
bearing all the water has made me feel small
im tiny a tiny bit of teardrop in this immensity
i welcome the water even though im drowning in it
am i too brave or too stupid
whatever i am i cant be anything else apart from
a vessel a water bearer
i bear our ambiguity
my own is already too much
but these waters, though rough
are known to me
yours are not
yet i've jumped in it
im scared too
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