blackbird

as I listen to blackbird and dance to it while getting ready for work on a regular tuesday - a catch myself realising how happy i am with my ordinary little life - and there comes the tears of joy. 

i think i'll never get used to leaving this life - to dying - because i do get overwhelmed daily, but maybe not every day, with the beauty of things - small and big. 

and i know that doesnt make me more or less deserving of living a long life. 

sometimes i think it's the opposite. because i do appreciate things way too much, maybe the divine will think i've had my fair share of living and take me sooner than i ever dreamt of.

truth is, and i know it, that we never know when we're going to go...

and that is fascinating and terrifying at the same time.

i dont mind getting older, although that can make us closer to death.

i do mind not living.

but for now, i have to get on with my tuesday and my blacbird cuz its not yet the dead of night.